It’s kind of distressing how true this is about the celebrity culture today.
The whole time I was reading it, I was thinking what really affects how these women are seen is other women. Men do have opinions and the pop culture machines to back them up, but I think that for most men, a good-looking woman is pretty much absolved of all sins when they smile. Not that they can’t appreciate the beauty inside, or want a woman for more than her looks, but the vast majority of men don’t spend a lot of time dissecting the behaviour of women they don’t know personally. They’re either attracted to her or they aren’t. They either think her behaviour is unappealing, or they don’t. And if they don’t know her, they can wish they did, but otherwise, I think most of them have a little fantasy, move on and still date with the focus on the women actually available to them.
(Of course, if you’re a man, and I’m totally wrong on this, feel free to chide me in the comments. I’m making observations, but I accept they are totally MY (probably) fucked up observations, could be entirely bullshit and probably worth less than your two cents.)
Women could use a little of that. We could stand to just see ourselves as beautiful creatures, regardless of our outsides, and we could strive to make the inside as beautiful as we think we’d like to be on our outsides. And we could stop hating on others for the double sins of appearing to be perfect, and appearing to not be perfect all the time.
And just so we’re clear, I’m totally guilty of this occasionally. (Yes, Gwyneth Paltrow, I have hated on you and your organic vegetables, and your cookbooks and your advice and the constant praise for your ‘fab’ body–I have chortled with glee when the pubilc rips you a new one for squeezing out other lowly authors at a small library event) I just want to stop doing it because I think it just makes the negativity grow and grow and eat up every positive thing women do, just when we need to be there for each other the most.
It’s a tough world out there at the moment. A little compassion and lot of focus on things that matter more than if so-and-so is actually a slut or not, might be a good way to go.
And Gwyneth? I’ve moved on. I really have. And I’m sorry I said that about you. You’re doing the best you can for the ones you love, just like the rest of us.
But just so you know, I won’t be visiting your website and purchasing any of the outrageously priced recommendations any time soon. Nothing personal but it’s just not me, you know? I mean, it’s me if I win the lotto on Saturday, but until then, it’s really not my thing.
Have a good one, guys.